And I'm 208.8 pounds
And just had a huge argument with the boy. One of these days I'll explain on here what the deal is with us but for now I simply can't be bothered. I can't wait to exercise to the death and sweat out all my anger and frustration just waiting for mr man to f**k off out the house!
Toodles xxx
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
Cant Sleep
Me and the boy had quite the argument and he basically admitted he wants for me to be slimmer of course he pretends that it wont make him love me more and its just because he wants to see me happy. Euuurrgh WhatEver.
Anyways I have touched up my Goals page as my original first goal weight of 179pounds feels sooo far away. Anyways the things on the list I seriously like SERIOUSLY have to save for anyways as its full of designer goodies and large purchases. For instance, I am tres desperate to own my own car but this is something else that will give me a lil more debt and so to even consider it I must be at least 155pounds before stepping foot on a car lot.
looking at loser town and entering the following stats: Female, 21 years, 66 inches tall, 211.6 pounds, eating 1000 cals daily and being moderately active: 3-5 times a week, put me at these values each week til christmas....
So next Tuesday i'd be on target if i'm 208.7 pounds. I'll use these weekly values as my target. Hopefully I can smash it! I have two days off of work3 actually as I plan on pulling a sicky on friday ojoso tomorrow I will be doing at least two hours worth of exercise dvds, housework other errands etc and hopefully I could even hit that target on friday morning. It would be tres awesome. This calculator from the oh-so-awesome Losertown.org actually puts me at 177 pounds for my birthday... hmm yh i refuse to be that weight by then. Lo we'll see how it goes, pictures and current measurements will be up tomorrow or day after.
LOVE LOVE
xxXxXxx
Anyways I have touched up my Goals page as my original first goal weight of 179pounds feels sooo far away. Anyways the things on the list I seriously like SERIOUSLY have to save for anyways as its full of designer goodies and large purchases. For instance, I am tres desperate to own my own car but this is something else that will give me a lil more debt and so to even consider it I must be at least 155pounds before stepping foot on a car lot.
looking at loser town and entering the following stats: Female, 21 years, 66 inches tall, 211.6 pounds, eating 1000 cals daily and being moderately active: 3-5 times a week, put me at these values each week til christmas....
| Day | Weight | Calories Used | Your Calorie Deficit |
| 09/18/2012 | 208.69 | 2683.19 | 1683.19 |
| 09/25/2012 | 205.35 | 2659.64 | 1659.64 |
| 10/02/2012 | 202.05 | 2636.42 | 1636.42 |
| 10/09/2012 | 198.8 | 2613.52 | 1613.52 |
| 10/16/2012 | 195.59 | 2590.94 | 1590.94 |
| 10/23/2012 | 192.43 | 2568.68 | 1568.68 |
| 10/30/2012 | 189.31 | 2546.73 | 1546.73 |
| 11/06/2012 | 186.23 | 2525.09 | 1525.09 |
| 11/13/2012 | 183.2 | 2503.75 | 1503.75 |
| 11/20/2012 | 180.21 | 2482.71 | 1482.71 |
| 11/27/2012 | 177.26 | 2461.97 | 1461.97 |
| 12/04/2012 | 174.36 | 2441.51 | 1441.51 |
| 12/11/2012 | 171.49 | 2421.34 | 1421.34 |
| 12/18/2012 | 168.67 | 2401.45 | 1401.45 |
| 12/25/2012 | 165.88 | 2381.84 | 1381.84 |
So next Tuesday i'd be on target if i'm 208.7 pounds. I'll use these weekly values as my target. Hopefully I can smash it! I have two days off of work
LOVE LOVE
xxXxXxx
Slim Day Two
I put the "slim" in front because I must have had a gazillion 'day two' titled posts. But watevas today I caved a lil bt I guess I will c later wat damage has been done. Woke up weighed myself and I was 209.6 (yesterday I was 211.6) to be honest I can't be too excited because the night before I was quite congested and my scales or maybe my body in general is in love with number 209.6.
Fuck you scales I refuse to see this stinking number again.
So today I've had the same warm salad nacho thing I had yesterday at work. It's on a small plate and really scrumptious without leaving me too full. I also *lowers head* ate a chocolate cup cake. Dnt. Even. Ask. Came home and had some chicken stew with a pinch of rice like 4hours ago and not enough water today but I'll rectify that before falling asleep. A mug of slimming tea and your blogs yum yum. Talk to you soon xx
Fuck you scales I refuse to see this stinking number again.
So today I've had the same warm salad nacho thing I had yesterday at work. It's on a small plate and really scrumptious without leaving me too full. I also *lowers head* ate a chocolate cup cake. Dnt. Even. Ask. Came home and had some chicken stew with a pinch of rice like 4hours ago and not enough water today but I'll rectify that before falling asleep. A mug of slimming tea and your blogs yum yum. Talk to you soon xx
Monday, 10 September 2012
I can't believe my life right now....
Things just aren't going right but at the moment there is just no use dwelling on it. Even my boyfriend now knows of the troubles I have with food and weight loss. I told him to help me as I need to lose 12kg (when really I need to lose 30 or so YUCK) so if he ever sees me eating past 8 or something greasy or fried to tell me stop.
And so follows 5 nights of him asking "should you be eating that" or "are you sure? It's past 8..." and I'm just like "I hate myself enough already and have to much shit going on, please leave me the FUCK alone" so yea, no marital bliss for us at the moment....
I don't know why I feel eating solves anything when the only thing it does is create more problems. I feel myself getting huger and grosser and all I can do is watch, stuff my face then cry. Well no more today I begin my true quest for thin as at this moment in time all my other problems - mum, uni, finances etc can sort themselves out in due course. I must lose weight NOW with a bmi of 34.1 I am officially obese - in the uk anyway and I need to be at a bmi of 19 ASAP. I will honestly try to post each day but the rules are to eat only a minuscule amount as little as possible. Lots of water and my slimming pills.
I'm trying so hard to get to a me I love as its all that counts right, that I truly love myself. As alway I look to all of you on here for support and inspiration. I am literally reading all your blogs from like July times so forgive me for not commenting im just trying to catch up. I've decided to post some pictures of me at this weight so as to keep track and shame myself into looking better soon! I will also change my goal weights and rewards lists as I have selfishly bought myself the majority of things on that list. Today I had a tiny plate of nachos with sour cream and salsa and loads of salad- a sprinkle of cheese mind you but I won't be eating again today. Thus far I've had my 4 slimb bomb pills and a litre of water.
Love you always, again thanks for still being here ... J x
And so follows 5 nights of him asking "should you be eating that" or "are you sure? It's past 8..." and I'm just like "I hate myself enough already and have to much shit going on, please leave me the FUCK alone" so yea, no marital bliss for us at the moment....
I don't know why I feel eating solves anything when the only thing it does is create more problems. I feel myself getting huger and grosser and all I can do is watch, stuff my face then cry. Well no more today I begin my true quest for thin as at this moment in time all my other problems - mum, uni, finances etc can sort themselves out in due course. I must lose weight NOW with a bmi of 34.1 I am officially obese - in the uk anyway and I need to be at a bmi of 19 ASAP. I will honestly try to post each day but the rules are to eat only a minuscule amount as little as possible. Lots of water and my slimming pills.
I'm trying so hard to get to a me I love as its all that counts right, that I truly love myself. As alway I look to all of you on here for support and inspiration. I am literally reading all your blogs from like July times so forgive me for not commenting im just trying to catch up. I've decided to post some pictures of me at this weight so as to keep track and shame myself into looking better soon! I will also change my goal weights and rewards lists as I have selfishly bought myself the majority of things on that list. Today I had a tiny plate of nachos with sour cream and salsa and loads of salad- a sprinkle of cheese mind you but I won't be eating again today. Thus far I've had my 4 slimb bomb pills and a litre of water.
Love you always, again thanks for still being here ... J x
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
Day 3
Super fast update...
Yesterday morning I weighed 209.2 pounds and today I am 208.2 seems like a good start especially since thus far I've only changed my eating habits and haven't actually started exercising more.
Anyways if I'm able to keep up this minimal 1pound a day of weightloss by the end of the month I should be 182 which is quite a lot less fat and gross!
On diet pills- I have been taking my slimb bombs but only the two on the morning, due to work I always seem to forget to take the afternoon one which has to be taken before 4due to all the caffeine. But in spite of this I have seen a difference in my appetite and levels of consumption, ordinarily I would finish everything before me even if I was already stuffed but today I was completely unable to Continue eating after a few bites. Methinks its working!
Anyhu gotta rush, lunch break over!
Kisses
X
Yesterday morning I weighed 209.2 pounds and today I am 208.2 seems like a good start especially since thus far I've only changed my eating habits and haven't actually started exercising more.
Anyways if I'm able to keep up this minimal 1pound a day of weightloss by the end of the month I should be 182 which is quite a lot less fat and gross!
On diet pills- I have been taking my slimb bombs but only the two on the morning, due to work I always seem to forget to take the afternoon one which has to be taken before 4due to all the caffeine. But in spite of this I have seen a difference in my appetite and levels of consumption, ordinarily I would finish everything before me even if I was already stuffed but today I was completely unable to Continue eating after a few bites. Methinks its working!
Anyhu gotta rush, lunch break over!
Kisses
X
Thursday, 16 August 2012
Monday, 13 August 2012
Grief
I am a fat lard ass still.
I am trying so hard to change the frame of mind that I am in.
I am so sorry I haven't really read many of your blogs and definitely haven't commented.
I have decided that I have been really foolish in trying to fast track my way to skinny doing every other diet in the book for like 2-3days and then panicking when I actually see goos results and reneging on the whole thing. Anyway no more. If I had steadily lost 2 pounds a week since starting this blog I would have been at my goal weight LAST SUMMER. The point, without rambling is I need to literally stop eating for pleasure and only open my mouth to put food in it when my stomach has been emptied of all content. And start exercising.
Desperate measures has caused me to let a handful of people at my workplace no that I do actually want to lose weight - something I never EVER do as I feel it simply draws people into the fact that I am a hugely obese monster. Oh yeah and highlights the fact that i'm failing at my weight loss attempts.
Anyway it started quite a conversation where I let everyone know of my expansive fitness dvd collection and even made a statement that I would do the 30-day shred dvd from gillian micheals for a week AT LEAST. So i'm off to do that now or i'll end up not doing it! Diet wise I haven't decided what i'm doing but i'll let y'all know later on.
WISH ME LUCK,
Starting weight 210.2 pounds
I am trying so hard to change the frame of mind that I am in.
I am so sorry I haven't really read many of your blogs and definitely haven't commented.
I have decided that I have been really foolish in trying to fast track my way to skinny doing every other diet in the book for like 2-3days and then panicking when I actually see goos results and reneging on the whole thing. Anyway no more. If I had steadily lost 2 pounds a week since starting this blog I would have been at my goal weight LAST SUMMER. The point, without rambling is I need to literally stop eating for pleasure and only open my mouth to put food in it when my stomach has been emptied of all content. And start exercising.
Desperate measures has caused me to let a handful of people at my workplace no that I do actually want to lose weight - something I never EVER do as I feel it simply draws people into the fact that I am a hugely obese monster. Oh yeah and highlights the fact that i'm failing at my weight loss attempts.
Anyway it started quite a conversation where I let everyone know of my expansive fitness dvd collection and even made a statement that I would do the 30-day shred dvd from gillian micheals for a week AT LEAST. So i'm off to do that now or i'll end up not doing it! Diet wise I haven't decided what i'm doing but i'll let y'all know later on.
WISH ME LUCK,
Starting weight 210.2 pounds
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