Grief

I am a fat lard ass still.

I am trying so hard to change the frame of mind that I am in.

I am so sorry I haven't really read many of your blogs and definitely haven't commented.

I have decided that I have been really foolish in trying to fast track my way to skinny doing every other diet in the book for like 2-3days and then panicking when I actually see goos results and reneging  on the whole thing. Anyway no more. If I had steadily lost 2 pounds a week since starting this blog I would have been at my goal weight LAST SUMMER. The point, without rambling is I need to literally stop eating for pleasure and only open my mouth to put food in it when my stomach has been emptied of all content. And start exercising.

Desperate measures has caused me to let a handful of people at my workplace no that I do actually want to lose weight - something I never EVER do as I feel it simply draws people into the fact that I am a hugely obese monster. Oh yeah and highlights the fact that i'm failing at my weight loss attempts.

Anyway it started quite a conversation where I let everyone know of my expansive fitness dvd collection and even made a statement that I would do the 30-day shred dvd from gillian micheals for a week AT LEAST. So i'm off to do that now or i'll end up not doing it! Diet wise I haven't decided what i'm doing but i'll let y'all know later on.

WISH ME LUCK,

Starting weight 210.2 pounds