Thursday, 24 May 2012

Guess What

I am not STILL fat, I am now MORE fatter than should be scientifically possible. I have today reached my highest ever goddamn weight and I am MORTIFIED.

208 pounds

14.9 stone

94.3 kilos

I'm disgusting
I'm disgusting
I'm disgusting

I knew I was disgusting, I knew I was getting ridiculously fat and I knew my clothes just did not fit me anymore. I had no idea that was because I had packed on 20 something disgusting little pounds since I last dawned on blogger.

What happened?? 

I have to say I think love happened. I've been swept up in a whirlwind of amor, and met the man of my dreams - to be honest I met him 6 years ago (long story) - and I believe we will get married because he is crazy awesome and n absolute perfect match for me... BUT he thinks i'm incredible, beautiful, bodacious etc etc he has led me down an awful path of self confidence in the face of damning evidence that serves only to prove how huge I am. I feel too fat, not just overweight but now by bmi standards overly obese. My bmi is 34 for fucks sake!! 34 i've never been so overwhelmed by the sight of such numbers on the scales.

My figures for this week so far are:

sunday 20th - 207.8
monday 21st - 206.8
tuesday 22nd - 205.7
wednesday 23rd - 206.6
thursday 24th - 208

Unfortunately my life has been so up and down, and I am now trying to make it in the retail industry- a harsh bitch to work for. I must Must MUST lose this gross weight. I have a string of interviews for really prestigious companies and i'm so professional, educated, and well experienced in saying the right thing to get the job (tooting my own horn I know) that when I don't get it I know Know KNOW that it is because of my weight. It's very bad to be noticeably bigger than a size 12 trying to get into the retail industry and I need a job STAT so yeah, weight loss has actually become integral to my success.

What Next?

I am going to race back down to my first goal weight of 179 pounds which will push me back into 'overweight' territory with a bmi of 29. So yes I am flabbergasted to even say I need to lose an awful 29 pounds just to get back to where I was MONTHS ago- but I will do it however I can.

Plan of action?

I basically have 30 pounds to lose, I will take it 10 pounds at a time until I hit that target and see how many days it takes me to drop 10pounds with each different method of weight loss. Having said that I will be keeping to the rules I previously set out on the 30day challenge so I can get in a good mode blogging each day again. Tomorrow will be day one.

My main plan for the next few days is to revert back to the cabbage soup diet and do at least 2 hours of exercise each day to include walking and my exercise dvds. So we'll see how it goes. 

And Now?

I am going to read through all of your blogs and try and comment because I know its been absolute ages! Look at some thinspo, workout, get showered and ready to go enjoy the summer sun which has FINALLY hit the UK haha. I'll probably post again later, but for now shout out to my incredible 38!! followers!! who I can't believe are still here, they offer fantastic support and inspiration through their blogs so if you're not already.... Follow them!! (sorry couldn't get links for everyone)

Bare Bones  ,    Sophia  ,   Charlie   ,   Kali   ,   HeartShapedGlasses   ,   purple_chick_undercover   ,   Eowin   ,   Angela   ,   ~Nessa~ Human   ,   M.   ,   A Girl with Tiny Intentions   ,   N.R   ,   Stillimagining   ,   Desesperee de maigrir    ,   a_beautiful mess   ,   Kitty   ,   Sam Lupin   ,   Camille   ,   Zane   ,   Courtney   ,   heavnlypi   ,   Fading Figure   ,   efflorescentwings   ,   Kelly   ,   Rio   ,   N33d 2B Sk1nnY   ,   Evie   ,   kate fisher   ,   thelifeofm   ,   kes_ana / kes   ,   ahall351   ,   fluo   ,   Mina Belle   ,   heddercruz   

Love ya


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